Today I Googled Toffee

Google, what exactly IS toffee?

My deepest apologies to anyone reading this, but I REALLY need to know! I LOVE toffee, I also love caramel and butterscotch…Google has taught me the rationale behind loving all three of these decedent goodies and that is… they are all virtually the same thing. The basic default for these three rich culinary creations is sugar/molasses and heat.. for toffee you just add butter to the mix and bake it at a higher temperature to make it crunchy, caramel- add milk and cook it slowly for a chewy texture, and butterscotch- exactly like toffee only cut the cooking time in half. YUM!!

Today I Googled The Elephant in the Room

Google, where does the phrase “there is an elephant in the room” originate?

Elephant in the room…I mean we all know that this phrase is referring to an unspoken, blatant issue that no one has the audacity to confront… hmm… for example “Why we started bombing Iraq after 911 instead of Afghanistan” or “Why the IRS legally exists” or “Why Donald Duck wears a shirt but no pants”… but who thought up this analogy and to what were they referring? Answer: The New York Times on June 20, 1959 issued a headline reading "Financing schools has become a problem about equal to having an elephant in the living room. It's so big you just can't ignore it." Short, sweet, factual… I said GOOD DAY!!

Today I Googled Egg Roll vs. Spring Roll

Google, please compare and contrast the Egg Roll and the Spring Roll

Ah HA! The ever illusive question you always ask yourself when mindfully perusing the Chinese takeout menu but have never taken the time to further the inquiry… all thanks to the unwarranted amount of MSG you have just chopsticked down your gullet. If your order sounds anything like mine (order of Lo Mein and a General Tso for my other half) then you rarely venture from the familiar Americanized cuisine you have come to KNOW (key word) and love… Terms like “Egg Roll” and “Spring Roll”, although written in the English language, seem rather foreign and really don’t differentiate themselves enough to produce an informed decision as to which is a better pair for chicken lo mien. WELL today is the day we put an end to all cylindrical uncertainty and rash appetizer choosing!! Both delectables are fried to a delicious golden brown but a “Spring Roll” has a very thin flour/rice shell and is usually filled with vegetables such as carrots and bamboo, WHILE an “Egg Roll” has a thicker (less crispy) exterior made from egg noodle dough and is often stuffed with heavier items, i.e. pork and bean sprouts. Also, one is Vietnamese and the latter is Chinese… and yes I DID have Chinese for lunch...

Today I Googled Hottest Pepper in the World

Google, what is the most piquant pepper on the planet? (how is that for alliteration)

Many would say the habanera when prompted with this question, but Google knows what’s up! The Naga Jolokia pepper is twice as hot as the habanera and is subject to some pretty bizarre applications…. for a vegetable that is. This pepper is not only used in India as a stomach ailment, but is also used as a weapon on terrorists and elephants alike! In India farmers have been known to smear these spicy specimens on fences to keep wild elephants at bay, furthermore, the military uses these chilies in hand grenades as a non-lethal way to render terrorists from their hideouts (they are also working on an aerosol spray). The pepper is also used as a defense against intense summer heat (go figure?) apparently they use it to induce perspiration. There you have it… when you wanna beat the heat, just blow your top! (hahaha get it?)

Today I Googled Liposuction Fat Reversal

Google, does liposuction really eliminate future fat growth in treated areas?

Answer: You bet ya! Liposuction completely removes fat cells all together making it impossible to put back on the previous pounds in the treated areas, hence, liposuction yields permanent results! Any significant weight gain will distribute extra fat to the untreated areas instead of the targeted (suckled) regions… Why you ask? Because saturated fats distribute in proportion to the number of fat cells already present in the body. In other words: If Sally has chubby arms, legs, and hips but only gets her arms and legs lipoed….consequently, when she gains weight, the fat accrued is going straight to those hips! Watcha carbs Sally!

Today I Googled the Paramount of Kevin Bacon

Google, what the highest grossing Kevin Bacon flik?

Bela Lugosi was in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948) with Vincent Price; Vincent Price was in The Raven (1963) with Jack Nicholson ; Jack Nicholson was in A Few Good Men (1992) with Kevin Bacon. We all know the game… I actually copied the previous “6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon Separation” example from Google because I for one ALWAYS get stuck on Tremors when fantasizing about Kevin Bacon… AND haven’t been able to find a correlation that links Tremors to Footloose so my mind technically has and autopilot default for the game rendering me absolutely defunct. Games aside, Kevin Bacon has already graced over 65 movies in his somewhat young career. His highest grossing film??? GOOGLE SAYS! (in a Family Feud-esque voice)Apollo 13 with co-star Tom Hanks was a box office smash in 1995 grossing over $355 million worldwide during its theatrical releases. I would like to end this blog by posing a question in honor of the late Harry Caray : “If you were Kevin Bacon… would you eat yourself??”