Today I Googled Whipper-Snapper

Google, where does the term “whipper-snapper” originate?

This post will put an early morning debate to rest (Joel we can now get some sleep at night).

In 17th century Europe young and upcoming, self important, cheeky, presumptuous schmucks would try to make themselves look important and superior by constantly cracking/snapping a short whip which they carried in hopes of commanding attention and respect. The older generation started calling them “whipper-snappers” it was adopted in America in the 1700s.

Phew....

Today I Googled World's Smallest Canine

Google, what is the world’s tiniest dog?

I know this a question that has been lingering in the back of everyone’s mind for quite sometime… well never fear I have done the research so you can put those inquiries to rest once and for all. Heaven Sent Brandy is the world’s ittiest dog. A trembling Chihuahua from Largo, Florida that is 6 inches long from nose to tail! You’re welcome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTEIdAyYkac for a really weird video/promo/I dont know what...

Today I Googled Murder Rates

Google, what's the safest country in terms of homicide rates?

How many of you could REALLY recognize the country solely from the above picture? I have to be honest I sometimes forget this country even exists….. Iceland, what have you been up to over there?? We don’t hear much from or about this place and here’s why: they have only had about a handful of murders EVER! The crime rate is incredibly low and the 700 police officers that keep these streets so secure do not even carry guns. Iceland has 137 prisoners total (all of which are probably just being reprimanded for screwing up the daily Viking chant). Why so low? Well maybe because they boast the #5 spot for highest standard of living in the world, they are exceptionally well educated with a 100% literacy rate, OR the most likely catalyst for all of these extraordinary high standards: Vigdis Finnbogadottire, Iceland and the word’s first FEMALE president who was in office for fourteen years of peace, prosperity, and exceptional standard of well-being. WORD to my sistas!!

Today I Googled death from laughter

Google, Can you die from laughing too hard?

FACT: It is possible to die from excessive laughing.

: O

Ok this started off as kind of a joke because I just wanted to see what sort of things people would post on the subject and had no intention of putting it on my blog. But to my astonishment hyperboles like “I laughed so hard I thought I was going to die” are apparently not pleas to be taken lightly... There are, in fact, many fatal biological occurrences that can be induced my exaggerated laughter. In 1989, a Danish man died laughing while watching A Fish Called Wanda. His heart was estimated to have clocked in at about 500 beats per minute, before he succumbed to cardiac arrest. This has GOT to be the best review of Jamie Lee Curtis’s career. It appears this phenomenon goes all the way back to the third century B.C. when some Greek philosopher named Chrysippus died of laughter (probably due to asphyxiation) after giving his donkey wine and then proceeding to watch it try to eat figs. The list goes on! What?! Ok I fail to see the hilarity in both of these situations but if a sauced donkey and a low budget comedy from the late eighties can create this sort of fatal reaction I am banning myself from all future Amy Poehler endeavors.

Today I Googled how to become a Notary.

Google, How does one become a notary?

FACT: You can become a notary for $16.95.

After filtering through tons of paperwork and government gibberish about the integrity of such a position, I found you can become a notary of public for an entire year for the low low price of $16.95. Fill out an application and mail it in with a check and a dream. Bada bing bada boom you got yourself a title!

Now we know!

Today I Googled Aardvark vs Anteaters

Google, are aardvarks and anteaters one in the same?

FACT: Aardvarks and anteaters are not a related species.

: O What? What? What???

Anteaters live in Central and South America while Aardvarks kick it in the grasslands of Africa. They have never even met yet, almost simultaneously, developed the same specialized diet and similar mechanism for eating. (This is known as convergent evolution). Anteaters have long bushy fur and live above the ground while aardvarks have short coarse fur and prefer to burrow underground (mmmyes.....). But even more interesting, an anteater is capable of killing a jaguar and aardvark is the first word in the English dictionary.

Intro

This is a daily blog for people who don't have the time or attention span for long forums filled with philosophical ideology or lengthy self-indulgent jargon. FACT: I love learning. I love random information. I love google.